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Matchstick Man
An unbearably honest, unsentimental and exceptionally well written story of a mind's disintegration and its effects on the partner and family of the man they are losing to confusion, distress and amnesia.
Julia Kelly is an Irish novelist; her partner was a successful artist whose increasingly disturbing behaviour is described quietly, in a series of dreadful epiphanies. A heartbreaking account of a destructive and distressing disease that affects 850,000 people in the UK alone, with numbers set to rise to over 1 million by 2025.
Julia Kelly is an Irish novelist; her partner was a successful artist whose increasingly disturbing behaviour is described quietly, in a series of dreadful epiphanies. A heartbreaking account of a destructive and distressing disease that affects 850,000 people in the UK alone, with numbers set to rise to over 1 million by 2025.
288 pages, Hardcover
Published May 3, 2018
About the author
Julia Kelly
59 books8 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
December 29, 2020
"Now is the best place to begin". Thus starts the unforgettable story of Julia Kelly and her partner Charlie Whisker.
From Google Books:
Julia Kelly met a charismatic and successful artist, Charlie Whisker, while she was working on her first novel. He was 20 years older than her. Their relationship was passionate and extraordinary; each of them inspired the other. Their friends were writers, artists, and rock stars; they lived a glamorous life of exhibitions, parties, and concerts. They became parents to a daughter they adored. But Charlie suddenly changed, becoming hopelessly forgetful, angry, and confused. This is an unbearably honest, unsentimental, and heartbreaking description of a brilliant man's mental disintegration and its effects on his family. Charlie's disturbing behavior is described in a series of terrible, understated revelations. An unforgettable telling of a story that will be familiar to many thousands of people in the UK and Ireland.
My thoughts
The book was selected for my book club two years ago. I wasn't able to attend the meeting, so put the book aside until 'later'. Well 'later' has come and the book is a treasure. I am just sorry that I did not read it with and discuss it with my club ladies.
Charlie was not an easy man to like. The way Julia describes him, even when he was well, was not likable. At first, he charmed her family. Then
"My sister-in-law sent a text the following day: ‘We love Charlie,’ she said. ‘You could put him on Mars, and he would get along with everyone.’ This didn’t turn out to be true. While Charlie remained kind and friendly to strangers – eccentric, elderly women were his favourite, and he seemed to have a radar for any human or animal in need of help – he began, not long after meeting my friends and family, to distance himself from them."
The next distancing step for Charlie was social. Charlie did not want to go anywhere. Julia had to go by herself.
The final straw was Charlie's dependency on Julia. She thought he was lazy. Alzheimer's was diagnosed in 2014.
Very sad story but one journey MANY will recognize.
5 stars
From Google Books:
Julia Kelly met a charismatic and successful artist, Charlie Whisker, while she was working on her first novel. He was 20 years older than her. Their relationship was passionate and extraordinary; each of them inspired the other. Their friends were writers, artists, and rock stars; they lived a glamorous life of exhibitions, parties, and concerts. They became parents to a daughter they adored. But Charlie suddenly changed, becoming hopelessly forgetful, angry, and confused. This is an unbearably honest, unsentimental, and heartbreaking description of a brilliant man's mental disintegration and its effects on his family. Charlie's disturbing behavior is described in a series of terrible, understated revelations. An unforgettable telling of a story that will be familiar to many thousands of people in the UK and Ireland.
My thoughts
The book was selected for my book club two years ago. I wasn't able to attend the meeting, so put the book aside until 'later'. Well 'later' has come and the book is a treasure. I am just sorry that I did not read it with and discuss it with my club ladies.
Charlie was not an easy man to like. The way Julia describes him, even when he was well, was not likable. At first, he charmed her family. Then
"My sister-in-law sent a text the following day: ‘We love Charlie,’ she said. ‘You could put him on Mars, and he would get along with everyone.’ This didn’t turn out to be true. While Charlie remained kind and friendly to strangers – eccentric, elderly women were his favourite, and he seemed to have a radar for any human or animal in need of help – he began, not long after meeting my friends and family, to distance himself from them."
The next distancing step for Charlie was social. Charlie did not want to go anywhere. Julia had to go by herself.
The final straw was Charlie's dependency on Julia. She thought he was lazy. Alzheimer's was diagnosed in 2014.
Very sad story but one journey MANY will recognize.
5 stars
September 1, 2022
I loved that this wasn’t romanticised it was real. An honest story of losing someone you love whilst they’re still there.
May 7, 2018
It’s hard to believe Charlie had the mental ability to agree to a book dissecting his battle with Alzheimer’s. Surely, he would prefer to be remembered as an accomplished artist.
Would elders really want a book written detailing their bowel movements and unnatural behavior courtesy of dementia? This might be considered by some a betrayal of trust.
As outlined in her novel, Julia’s lack of empathy towards Charlie is at times apparent. She clearly grew up in affluence – why so desperate to assume the position of pauper?
Imagine a role reversal; Charlie and the kid living in affluent Dalkey chatting about the prospect of a new Mammy. In a less salubrious area, Julia is suffering mental decline in some basement flat. Charlie decides to write a book detailing her illness. How would she feel? Julia is a wonderful writer with a very bright future. Though, my thoughts are with Charlie’s children.
Would elders really want a book written detailing their bowel movements and unnatural behavior courtesy of dementia? This might be considered by some a betrayal of trust.
As outlined in her novel, Julia’s lack of empathy towards Charlie is at times apparent. She clearly grew up in affluence – why so desperate to assume the position of pauper?
Imagine a role reversal; Charlie and the kid living in affluent Dalkey chatting about the prospect of a new Mammy. In a less salubrious area, Julia is suffering mental decline in some basement flat. Charlie decides to write a book detailing her illness. How would she feel? Julia is a wonderful writer with a very bright future. Though, my thoughts are with Charlie’s children.
February 15, 2021
I read this book in one sitting. It's so emotional and real.
February 3, 2021
An utterly heartbreaking, gut-wrenchingly honest, uncomfortably beautiful book.
May 13, 2018
The writing was excellent but I felt Julia attempting to come across as Florence Nightingale sounded similar to Donald Trump pretending to be Gandhi. Sounds like Charley is too sick to defend himself. These types of books are normally written when the person is a distant memory. Charlie is alive and the father of her child. I felt he deserved more respect and less exploitation as a vulnerable member of society. I don’t agree with the intimate details of a man who is unable to speak for himself getting paraded around in such a public manner. I may not have walked in your shoes Julia. But, that is only because I don’t have Louboutin’s!
On a positive not, Julia writes with an awareness of her emotions; anger, fear, sadness that few other writers are able to master. She is able to tap into her emotions and express them in a beautiful way. She writes in a rhythmical and lyrical fashion that is to be admired.
On a positive not, Julia writes with an awareness of her emotions; anger, fear, sadness that few other writers are able to master. She is able to tap into her emotions and express them in a beautiful way. She writes in a rhythmical and lyrical fashion that is to be admired.
November 2, 2018
Chapter 12 - "I've shit myself," Charlie says, as she put the bags on the table.
If I was this poor man's kid, I'd be pissed off an ex wrote this crap about him.
Thought that was in really bad taste, but an all right read.
If I was this poor man's kid, I'd be pissed off an ex wrote this crap about him.
Thought that was in really bad taste, but an all right read.
August 8, 2021
I read this book because I have years of experience with my late Mum who had Alzheimers.
Parts of it I could relate to and parts I just could not. Julia Kelly is clearly a good writer and writes in a very matter of fact way. She and Charlie Whisker were clearly from very different backgrounds so when they met she was immediately under his spell and then went on to enjoy being part of his rather exciting lifestyle. Mind you even then, he didn’t sound a barrel of laughs and seemed very wrapped up in his own thoughts and deeds. Often it read to me like Kelly was more attracted to his name and fame rather than him as a person.
Every person’s Alzheimers journey is different and whilst Charlie became very disturbed and sometimes violent and aggressive, people like my late Mum just quietly get more and more confused until they gently fade away completely. Julia Kelly wants this to be a memoir about Charlie and this cruel disease but she should make this clear.
At the end of this very sad story the person who I feel most sorry for his his small daughter “the nipe.” I think his other daughter Domino should be commended for all the love and support she gave her Dad.
One thing I don’t understand is how they bought the big house in Bray which cost over €1 million yet within a short time they are so skint that they can’t pay Charlie’s rent on a small flat and she is driving around in an ancient car. Where did all the money go from the sale of the house plus all her earnings from writing and his from selling his artwork.
Parts of it I could relate to and parts I just could not. Julia Kelly is clearly a good writer and writes in a very matter of fact way. She and Charlie Whisker were clearly from very different backgrounds so when they met she was immediately under his spell and then went on to enjoy being part of his rather exciting lifestyle. Mind you even then, he didn’t sound a barrel of laughs and seemed very wrapped up in his own thoughts and deeds. Often it read to me like Kelly was more attracted to his name and fame rather than him as a person.
Every person’s Alzheimers journey is different and whilst Charlie became very disturbed and sometimes violent and aggressive, people like my late Mum just quietly get more and more confused until they gently fade away completely. Julia Kelly wants this to be a memoir about Charlie and this cruel disease but she should make this clear.
At the end of this very sad story the person who I feel most sorry for his his small daughter “the nipe.” I think his other daughter Domino should be commended for all the love and support she gave her Dad.
One thing I don’t understand is how they bought the big house in Bray which cost over €1 million yet within a short time they are so skint that they can’t pay Charlie’s rent on a small flat and she is driving around in an ancient car. Where did all the money go from the sale of the house plus all her earnings from writing and his from selling his artwork.
March 9, 2022
With a heavy heart I'm going 3 stars (I want to put 1).
The book is selfish and plays off a relationship that was never there. The author name drops entertainers that her partner worked with and friended as a result of his work. She writes this under the guise that Charlie (debilitated) wanted the story told. He was 20+ years older than her, and the relationship was father-figure & oh great catch Charlie.
Alzheimer's is the tip of the ice berg. It's the keyword searched for when a person needs comfort and proof they are not alone. The author writes that doctors told her their small child was not safe with her father who at this time had not reached the heights of Alzheimer's. Her reaction frankly pissed me off and I was not at all surprised later the choices she made for herself, leaving Charlie and their young daughter second.
Read with an open-mind. If Alzheimer's had affected your family and you find yourself reading this, try to focus on the little girl. Her reactions, fears, and growth as she helplessly watches her father spiral downward. There are lessons here if you dig.
The book is selfish and plays off a relationship that was never there. The author name drops entertainers that her partner worked with and friended as a result of his work. She writes this under the guise that Charlie (debilitated) wanted the story told. He was 20+ years older than her, and the relationship was father-figure & oh great catch Charlie.
Alzheimer's is the tip of the ice berg. It's the keyword searched for when a person needs comfort and proof they are not alone. The author writes that doctors told her their small child was not safe with her father who at this time had not reached the heights of Alzheimer's. Her reaction frankly pissed me off and I was not at all surprised later the choices she made for herself, leaving Charlie and their young daughter second.
Read with an open-mind. If Alzheimer's had affected your family and you find yourself reading this, try to focus on the little girl. Her reactions, fears, and growth as she helplessly watches her father spiral downward. There are lessons here if you dig.
May 26, 2018
Read this as recommended by Eason's bookclub. It is the story of Charlie's mental and physical deterioration before and following diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease.
Julia Kelly was Charlie's partner and she describes this decline 'warts and all'. I did not like the character of Charlie before Alzheimer's so post diagnosis is so much worse.
Ultimately I felt so upset for their very young daughter who was in the middle of the situation and seemingly not protected from any of it. I was so pleased when a Social Worker pointed this out to the mother.
I would recommend this for those interested in the possible reality of pre and post diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease.
Julia Kelly was Charlie's partner and she describes this decline 'warts and all'. I did not like the character of Charlie before Alzheimer's so post diagnosis is so much worse.
Ultimately I felt so upset for their very young daughter who was in the middle of the situation and seemingly not protected from any of it. I was so pleased when a Social Worker pointed this out to the mother.
I would recommend this for those interested in the possible reality of pre and post diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease.
May 8, 2018
I love this book. Such a heartbreaking account of loss and love and acceptance, told so beautifully. I love all her books but this one was very different, it was hard at times to read how this disease can tear a family apart but wonderful too to see the battle a family fight against this disease, to keep the one they love. Honest too in depicting how hard it can be for all, especially a little child who just loves her Dad and wants him back. I was not able to put it down.
June 21, 2018
My dad has been recently diagnosed with dementia so I was interested to read someone else's perspective on a similar disease, and how if affects the family. Some of the pages I felt I could have written word for word, it completely struck a chord with me. It is a very honest account of what happens to the person with the disease and those around them. I would recommend it for anyone in a similar situation and admire her bravery in telling it as it is.
August 28, 2018
This is a sad story of the relationship of a young writer with an older eccentric artist. It is a true story of the devastation of Alzheimer's disease. I didn't really like the style of writing and I expected it to be more like the story of "Still Alice" but it is a very personal story of Julia Kelly's falling in love with Charlie but having that relationship fall apart when Charlie becomes aggressive and intolerant of noise, crowds and especially of their 5 year old daughter.
September 2, 2019
This is a wonderful book. While I am not affected by Alzheimer's I am by other neurological conditions.
Kelly's kindness, clear-headedness, humor together convey universal truths about love, relationships, told with wit and precision.
On the strength of a library copy of Matchstick Man, I immediately bought Playground and my husband and I will both be reading that next.
Thank you, Julia and thank you, Charlie.
Kelly's kindness, clear-headedness, humor together convey universal truths about love, relationships, told with wit and precision.
On the strength of a library copy of Matchstick Man, I immediately bought Playground and my husband and I will both be reading that next.
Thank you, Julia and thank you, Charlie.
November 8, 2019
Reality check
It is the topic that drew me to read this book. I’ve lived the life of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease. The author Authentically depicts the heartbreaking reality of watching someone you love slowly disappear from your life. The book is a fast read and well written, but the ending leaves me wondering what happens next.Perhaps it mirrors the disease in the way that you never know what is coming next.
It is the topic that drew me to read this book. I’ve lived the life of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease. The author Authentically depicts the heartbreaking reality of watching someone you love slowly disappear from your life. The book is a fast read and well written, but the ending leaves me wondering what happens next.Perhaps it mirrors the disease in the way that you never know what is coming next.
November 10, 2018
Julia Kelly has created a gorgeous, lush book that is memoir, love story and tragedy all in one. When Charlie, her love and the father of her child, is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, all that had been going wrong finally had a reason. Kelly's prose is beautiful and the reader is drawn instantly to her and her story.
Non-fiction book of the year for me, without a doubt.
Non-fiction book of the year for me, without a doubt.
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October 18, 2019As a work of fiction, I think at times this novel is too expository in style. Owing, perhaps to the author’s intention to give her daughter something to remember her father by. Nonetheless, Kelly’s narrative highlights the complicated ramifications Alzheimer’s has not only on the individual, but all those connected to them.
July 29, 2021
So sad and depressing, but somehow engaging. Listen to the author describe her feckless abs inept self as she meets Charlie Whisker, a famous Irish painter 20 years her senior. They become a couple, create a life together, have a child, and negotiate his early-onset Alzheimer’s about age 62. Wow. She is tough and honest so it’s not a pleasant journey.
July 2, 2018
A heart wrenching story of a family’s struggle with dementia, this book is unapologetically open and honest and details the cruel reality of life surrounding this illness. This is so refreshing and deeply insightful. My heart goes out to anyone suffering from this illness and their families.
January 4, 2022
When I started this book I actually thought it was a novel, clearly I didn’t look to closely at it. It is of course a memoir of huge love and loss. It was deeply painful and moving and poetic to read.
June 10, 2018
Such a good writer. I devoured this in one sitting.
August 13, 2018
A truly exceptional book. So honest, brave and gripping throughout. Heartbreaking but uplifting at the same time. I couldn't recommend it more highly.
June 7, 2019
5 out of 5 for honesty though. Brings it up to at least a 3.5
June 26, 2019
Loved this very honest open account of the reality of loving someone with Alzheimer's.
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July 30, 2019Very honest and heartbreaking story on alzheimers disease
March 17, 2020
A story full of pathos and humour amid tears of joy and sadness.
June 19, 2021
What a gripping story this was, one that I’m sure many people can relate to. Very touching and at times heartbreaking. It really is a sad disease
November 8, 2021
A truthful and down to earth account of a husband’s battle with dementia. A poignant read.
July 21, 2022
beautifully written
July 12, 2023
Extremely well written, but sad and hard to read when you have known and lost someone to dementia.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews