Elsewhere, the Coronavirus continues to separate Ms Price from her beau Dexter, who is not a jazz saxophonist, but does have some neck.

In other news, experts say nerves are fraying as family familiarity stretches civility. Efforts to find a vaccine continue, with scientists saying a place of your own, away from irritating others, is the only remedy available at present.

Culture now, and you can see the Royal Academy's Picasso and Paper exhibition from your home while restrictions on movement continue. Open you mind, and close the door.

Meanwhile, Dubliners are dancing in the chocolate aisles now that the Easter Bunny has been officially declared an essential worker prior to visiting Ireland later today. A spokesperson for 10 Downing Street said Britain would not give into such temptation.

In financial news, it's reported that your fifty quid will be deposited in your parents' bank account shortly. Sadly, you can't spend it anyway!

And now a summary of today's news: It's all enough to distress a darling, but we hope you have a very happy birthday just the same.

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